I wrote this a few years ago when my twins were 3 years old. Enjoy!
I've decided that these are the two phrases that will answer any question that may be posed to you in life. Example:
"Ma'am, did you know you were going 40 in a 25 mph zone?"
--"I can't `member."
"Ma'am, I'm have to write you a ticket."
--"Okay."
Seriously my twins have decided that these are the only answers they will give when confronted:
"Who shaved the cat?"
--"I can't `member."
"Don't do that again!"
--"Okay."
Aw... How cute you might say. Ha! Imagine trying to get any information out of someone who will only answer with one of two things. Who am I to punish when Barbie mysteriously takes a swim down the toilet and I have to call the plumber again? And when I finally pick one of the twins as the culprit to send to their room (I'll blame the other one next time and it'll work out in the end), do I get tears or a sorrowful apology? Nope!
--"Okay."
I've tried everything to get another answer from them and somehow they can figure out a way to answer with their stock phrases. Even when it doesn't make sense, they will try anyways:
"If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?"
--"I can't `member."
"That doesn't make any sense."
--"Okay."
I think I should rent the twins out to the FBI so their agents can practice their interrogating skills on them. The twins can remain calm under any circumstances and with a straight face, answer "okay" or "I can't `member" to anything. I can see the agents leaving the room to turn in their badges:
--"It's impossible, they can't be broken!"
I will pat them on the back and nod with sympathy.
"Here, have a cookie."
--"Okay."
I'm told they will quit answering with "okay" and "I can't `member" when their vocabulary expands in a few years. I'm looking forward to hearing long made-up excuses on why their brother's hair is laying on the bathroom floor and he's now bald. Even a forceful "No!" would be better than a half hearten "okay" they give while ignoring everything I just said and intently pulling out their doll's eyeballs instead.
In the time being I will try to not to be so frustrated with their lack of interest on why I think feeding the cat crayons is a bad idea. When I feel the dull headache start when I hear their series of "I can't `member" and "okay", I will take a couple of Tylenol. And not berate myself on the poor job I did teaching them to talk if these are the only words they have learned. Especially since the other day, I overheard them ask my husband:
--"Daddy, what does 'okay' and 'I can't `member' mean?"
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