Sometimes the vastness of the world's possibilities overwhelms me. Each new generation has more options, more choices, more to accomplish in their short time on Earth. You truly can be whatever you want to be. And once you've done that, you'll probably have years of your life still available to follow another dream. The possibilities seem endless. There are so many chances to learn, to grow, to make the world a better place.
It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough, that I'm not living up to my potential. With modern day conveniences and grocery stores, I can easily prepare a meal in thirty minutes, No longer do I have to slave in the kitchen for hours as women have done in the past. So what am I doing with those precious hours that my 18th century counterpart didn't have? Nothing significant it seems: recovering kitchen chairs, wasting time on the internet, playing PS2 video games with the kids. I feel like I should be out saving the world with my free time. Or at least doing something that will matter in history years from now.
They say that the AIDS epidemic in Africa will be looked upon as the greatest tragedy that our generation did nothing to prevent. Will my future grandchildren read about it in their history books and ask me why I didn't do anything? Like those who lived through the Holocaust and never thought about the people who were being sent to their deaths because they were Jewish? Or saw slavery as the way things were and there wasn't anything to be done to change it even if it was wrong?
I can't say "I didn't know" because I do know. I just don't know what I can do about. I'm not a doctor or a nurse nor do I have the funds or time to travel to Africa. I'm not a politician who could lobby for more foreign aid for these people. I'm not a biological chemist who could create a cure for AIDS or at least affordable medicines. I feel so insignificant, what can I possibly do? Send money? What about all the other worthy causes in the world? Breast cancer research, starving orphans due to war torn countries, it boggles the mind. Here I sit in my nice warm house with all the latest and greatest inventions of the 21st century and I feel guilty. Guilty I spent $25 on scrapbooking paper when a little child in India doesn't have enough food to fill his stomach. Guilty that when I tuck my kids into bed, I don't have to worry about a bomb landing on our house and killing us while we sleep.
I suppose this is why so many of history's great tragedies escape the thoughts of those living through them. They were too busy living their own hectic little lives to notice that the Jewish family down the street was missing. Or today it's easy to avoid the news and not know that hundreds are dying of AIDs in a foreign country while they drive their SUV's through safe neighborhoods to take their healthy children to soccer and ballet practice. The endless options open to us keep us so busy that we don't stop to think about the suffering of other human beings. It's like we've lost our basic connection to each other because we are jaded by the frivolous trappings of modern society. A new house, a new car, lessons to make our children the best, dinner from a drive-thru, a two week vacation at the beach. What will any of that really matter in a hundred years?
I want to be the person who fought for women's right to vote, who hid slaves along the Underground Railroad or helped Jewish people out of Europe. I want to make a difference. I feel like I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time. So my goal is to find a way to make a difference. I don't want to do it for publicity or to go down in a history book. I want to do it because it's right. For the simple fact that there should not be people suffering in this world. We have an obligation to help those in need. I truly believe that every little bit of kindness and goodwill does make a difference. I will teach my children to love and not hate, to help and not hinder, to try to understand and not judge. It's a huge task and I hope I can do it.
Quote of the Day: "We can do no great things, only small things with great love." -Mother Theresa
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