katiefleck's Unofficial Guide to Surviving 3 or more children under the age of 6
Volume 5: Keeping Your Sanity
Just having 3 or more children under that age of 6 proves that you are a tad insane already. Most people in their right minds agree that raising children is not easy and can be at times trying. Having 3 (or more) young ones puts you in a whole new ballpark. Unless asleep they are in constant crazed motion. But not in the same direction, which makes your eyeballs want to pop of their sockets. Somedays I sit back, watch, and think, "wow, this is nuttier than a 3 ring circus full of schizo clowns on crack."
Of course all children are wonderful and you love yours more than life itself. There are many good days, some okay days, and then the days when you want to check yourself into an insane asylum for some quiet time and colorful pills. Those days when "breath in, breath out" doesn't quite cut it when you are staring at the torn paper remains of your favorite books or the mantra "This too shall pass" makes you grit your teeth as you scrub crayon marks off the wall again. These tips may give you better results:
- Perspective: This one can be tough for me because I live very much in the moment. But as a 3rd time parent (or more), you have an advantage over 1st time parents. You know that cutting teeth lasts a couple of weeks or that your child really will be at least day timed potty trained by kindergarten. So remember to put those difficult tedious moments into perspective:
"Will this really matter in a year, next month, tomorrow?" Yeah it might if Junior just burnt the house down. But a clogged toilet or a lipstick covered comforter doesn't really matter in the long run. Right now it's a pain but in a few weeks, the kids will have done something even more crazy, err I mean you'll have forgotten that incident. Kids really aren't trying to drive you insane, it's just a by-product of being a kid.
This idea also works with tedious growth periods like colic, teething, terrible twos, etc. With Kelly, it almost made me sad to think "this time next year, she won't need night time nursings." A year makes a huge difference in the behavior of a child. And since time goes by so quickly (except post office lines in December when your children start telling everyone your age, weight, the curse words you said this morning, etc), a year is really nothing. In a year, your toddler probably won't be drinking from the dog bowl or your preschooler asking "Why?" every 30 seconds. Just try not think about all the other crazy things they could be doing in a year. - Get Away from the Kids: This can be as small as locking yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes or as nice as a long weekend vacation with your spouse (remember that big person who steals the covers at night?). Plan something and then when the kids go haywire, remind yourself that in 2 hours, 3 days, a month, whatever, you will get a break.
Since I rarely have a babysitter, my "away" time is bedtime. A set bedtime can be a very wonderful thing. I often find myself mentally calculating the minutes until they are asleep and I don't have to watch Noggin on TV or sing the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" anymore (until tomorrow, that is).
Time away from the kids is not selfish! Remember that person you used to be before kids? Now that person was selfish. Going to bed without tucking someone else in, eating meals at the proper temperature, reading a paper that hadn't been torn apart by a child who wanted to look at the comics. You are practically a saint in comparison! I bet even Mother Teresa took breaks from helping to the poor to get her nails done. Plus your kids are probably tired of you too and would appreciate a change of adults as well.
- Drugs: Not the illegal type! But there's a reason the stereotypical Mom of the 50's always had a martini or a bloody mary in hand depending on the time of day. If you exposed your immune system to hundreds of bacteria and viruses, chances are very good that you are going to get seriously ill. Every day your mental state takes a similar beating. Whiny sick kids, colicky babies, food fights, exploding diapers, temper tantrums, toy clutter... See why that solitary room at the asylum looks so inviting? Your "drug" can be anything that gives you a mental pick-me-up: a glass of wine, music, shopping, chocolate, sex, ice cream, hobbies, a walk through a beautiful park.
If you still feel too stressed or depressed every day, seek medical help. There is definitely no shame in it. Like I said, mental stress is a kissing cousin to physical illness. A pill can get rid of Strep Throat, a pill can also help you see sunshine and rainbows instead of doom and gloom. You will feel calmer and be a much better parent to your children. And in the end, that's all that matters. Being the best parent you can be and enjoying life.
All Content at katiefleck.com is Copyright 2003-2008 by Katie Fleck, All Rights Reserved.
