From You Know You're From... When... I picked my favorites since I grew up in "Small Town", Indiana and went to college in Cincinnati, Ohio.
You Know You're From a Small Town When...
- The "road hog" in front of you on Main Street is a farmer's combine.
- No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
- Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see if the publisher got it right.
- You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you're from.
- Driving cars up and down the main drag is a universal high school experience.
- You can name everyone you graduated with.
- You know what 4-H and FFA are.
- School gets canceled for state sporting events.
- It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
- You had senior skip day.
- Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
- When you plan an orgy and an Euchre game breaks out.
- You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute."
- You live in a city ... and there's a cornfield in your backyard.
- High school basketball game draws a bigger crowd on the weekend nights than movie theaters.
- You can see at least 2 basketball hoops from your yard.
- The biggest question of your youth was "IU or Purdue?"
- Indianapolis is the "big city".
- "Getting caught by a train" is a legitimate excuse for being late to school.
- You can say "French Lick" without laughing out loud.
- There's actually a college near you named "Ball State."
- You think the state Bird is Larry.
- There really is more than corn in Indiana. There's soybeans, too.
- Your idea of a three-way is chili over spaghetti topped with cheddar.
- You hate Cleveland, but you don't know why, and you've never been there.
- You think Dayton is a Third World country.
- Losing football teams draw more fans than winning baseball teams.
- Indiana is about 20 miles away, but it takes about four hours to get there.
- You drive to Columbus or Louisville to avoid the prices at the Cincinnati airport.
- City council members hold debates on whether or not they should debate in the first place.
- You think Kentucky is only slightly more civilized than Afghanistan.
- Tourists still flock downtown to catch a glimpse of cast members from "WKRP," even though the show hasn't aired on network television since 1984, and the show was filmed in LA anyway.
- You've been to California, Wyoming, Coney Island, and Over-the-Rhine in one day.
- If you do something -- anything -- in public long enough, sooner or later it will be banned.
- Your low-fat diet is never low enough to exclude Graeter's ice cream.
- If necessary, the city could easily be sliced into two new cities: East and West, and it would take 20 years for anyone to notice something happened.
- You can accurately judge people's social status by which Kroger's store they frequent.
- You know in which state the Greater Cincinnati Airport is located.
- You don't think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami.
- You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
- "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."
- You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, and Tuscarawas.
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