Did I miss somewhere that today is "National Drive Your Parents Insane Day"? They should really announce these things over the emergency broadcast system. So us parents could at least know to take the bottle of vodka to bed with us in preparation for the next day.
3am: "Mom, Kelly's out of bed!" -one of the twins
*snore, grumbles* Tossed Kelly back in bed.
6:45am: "Mom, Kelly's out of bed!" -one of the twins
*snore, grumbles* Deja vu? Changed Kelly's stinky diaper and tossed her back in bed. She popped back out like a hush puppy in hot oil. She ran into the boys room while I was still trying to remember who these short people were and why I was awake.
"Mommy, is it morning?" -Kyle
"No. Go potty and then back to bed."
"I can't see!" -Kyle
Blinding light! Thank God, it's all over. Oh wait, Kyle just turned on the bathroom light. Never again will I accidentally replace the 4 globe lightbulbs with 75 watt instead of 40 watt.
Meanwhile Kelly's running around in the darken rooms like a crazed pinball bouncing off walls, furniture, siblings, etc.
7am: All the kids went downstairs and I curled up on the couch with a quilt. The next I remember was Kelly (naked) walking on my chest. I caught her before she stepped on my nose. 27 pounds of toddler jumping on you can leave a bruise. Just so you know. I found her clothes, dressed her, and fell back asleep.
8:15am: Repeat 7am (naked baby stomping on me) but add in bizarre dreams of giant ants taking over the kitchen.
8:30am: *grumbles* "Breakfast!" Screw my idea of french toast and sausage links. I'm a crabby cook, I can't work under certain circumstances, one being woken up before 8am when the house isn't burning down.
"I want Trix!"
"Trix!"
"Trix!"
"Trix!"
(Kelly's not upstairs yet, preferring to use me being in the kitchen as a good time to string a roll of toilet paper all over the toy room.)
*shakes Trix box* "There's enough for 3." So I pull out Coco Puffs and Cinnamon Toast Crunch (all reduced sugar, not that it seems to help...)
"I want Cinnamon Toast Crunch!"
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch!"
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch!"
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch!"
"No, wait I want Trix!"
"Trix!"
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch!"
"Trix!"
"I want Cinnamon Toast Crunch!"
"Trix!"
"Trix!"
I'm tired, blinded, bruised, and definitely way too sober. "One at a time, please..."
"Trix!" *pours bowl*
"Trix!" *pours bowl*
"Trix!" *pours bowl*
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch!" *whew!* That could have gotten ugly.
And then Kelly strolls in (oddly enough, fully dressed) and has Cinnamon Toast Crunch with no milk. Because while she likes carrying around a full gallon of milk and dropping it on the floor to splatter everywhere and make Mommy's eye twitch funny, she does not like it on her cereal. Whatever...
But hey, since it's "National Drive Your Parents Insane Day", I need to go call mine and tell them about my new nose ring and that we're moving to China to become Buddhists and rice farmers. hehe
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