So today was my first Tuesday of my Tues/Thurs noon to 4pm babysitting times. And I had a 1pm therapy appointment. So the main topic of today's session was the fact that I hopped in the van at noon and had no idea what to do with myself until 1pm (and also 2 to 4pm afterwards).
It's odd how therapy has made me more confused than ever. I guess before I might not have known exactly who I was before this started but I didn't really think too deeply about it back then. I did what I needed to do, all the mommy stuff and the housewifey stuff and the occasional craft project. As the therapist pointed out, I always do stuff for others, usually how others want it, and rarely take the time to do anything for myself the way I want. Which I guess is bad or something...
She also thinks I need more friends. I'll admit I have no friends in the local community. Sure I have aquaintenances in the area but no one to call and hang out with from noon to 4pm on Tuesday or Thursday. She wasn't terribly impressed with my online friends (sorry guys), mumbling something about my attachment to my computer. She's an older lady, she doesn't even have a computer in her office so I think she may be missing the point there. Anyway so she said I should make some local friends. Uh...
It's not that I don't like people. It's just that I suck at making friends. Seriously. I've never been Miss Social Girl by any means. It's too long of a topic to go into today but I think I'll bring it up at my next therapy session. Plus there's that little thing about how I don't know who I am at the moment and now I'm expected to go make new friends while there's this lack of knowledge of who I am? I'm not sure I follow the logic there. And don't forget the whole issue of us moving in the near future...
*sigh* Confused I am.
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