Advil Migraine to the rescue! Kyle, Kelly and I had a ton of errands to run so I really couldn't stay home and sleep in a nice dark quiet room (although I'm not sure "quiet" is achievable here). I feel fine today so yep, we have more errands to run. And I'm getting the house ready for our first Brownie meeting after school today! Yippee!
I also have two therapist appointments today, one with the school guidance counselor about Emily and Ally (more in a second) and one with my new therapist. I go back and forth about whether it really helps me or not. I don't like the dreadful feeling before going, it's kinda hard to explain I suppose. I think I was prompted to find a therapist here because I was going through a weird rough patch with the whole move and hormones. Me and my hormones don't get along well at times. Anyway I feel fine right now. Maybe she'll write me a doctor's note that says I am sane and be done with it.
Emily and Ally... I got a late night call from Ally's teacher that Ally had a complete meltdown during school yesterday. It could easily have been Emily's teacher because there have been vague mentions during routine phone calls that Emily is whining and crying at times but nothing more in depth. The guidance counselor stepped in yesterday with Ally. So I called this morning and set up an appointment to talk with him today.
The first thing is that they don't do this extreme behavior at home. We ignore whining or crying or they are sent to their rooms to calm down. The teacher can't ignore it as it disrupts the rest of the class and there's no place to really send a child to calm down. Next I think it's for attention, kinda like the soccer practice meltdowns (which we haven't dealt with because soccer practice has been canceled for the previous 3 weeks due to rain). Yesterday's problem was the result of the perfectionist streak the girls occasionally have. Ally misglued something on her paper and rather than move on, she wanted a new paper to start over. The teacher didn't have a new paper so the problem couldn't be solved that way. Ally refused to move on from the mistake, throwing a screaming and crying fit instead.
So... I feel terrible that the teachers are having to deal with this. And I'm not sure how to help it. My few thoughts on the subject are that we need to work on problem solving. I'm guilty of sometimes ignoring the problem when they whine or cry instead of calming them down and trying to help them work through it. I think if we talk through possible issues (one at a time) while they are calm and then give them examples of actions they can take (other than crying or whining), we may be able to head off meltdowns. I've done that occasionally but probably not enough to be effective. Emily's and Ally's line of thinking seems to be: have a problem, cry or whine for attention until someone solves it or takes the problem away. Which is typical for a 2 year old but definitely not good behavior for a 1st grader.
The only other idea I have is that the twins need to be in the same classroom. They were excellent in pre-kindergarten when they were together. Their kindergarten teachers noted that the girls were often better behaved after recess when they had seen each other. I originally thought they needed to be in different classrooms to promote independence. However they don't look to each other for academic help (in fact they refuse help from each other during homework), they may just need the physiological boost from seeing the other across the room. It might have been too early to expect them to handle breaking that emotional bond between them.
I think these meltdown problems need to be solved now or they are going to start losing friends (who wants to play with a whiny baby?) and be known as the problem child in their classrooms. They are also at a very critical academic period, they are emergent readers and are starting more challenging math lessons. If they are crying and whining, they aren't going to be able to learn.
Sorry for the long winded post, I'm very upset and worried about this. I hope the guidance counselor will have some helpful suggestions and we can start working to fix this. And as much as I hate to say this, I can't help thinking why can't they be more like Zach? Who is doing well, he's beyond grade level in reading (at least 5th grade level) and above grade level in math (3rd grade-ish). No complaints from his teacher other than the first homework assignment that he turned in late (and that was mostly my fault because it was lost in the shuffle of back to school madness). He is enjoying chess club, hockey, and cub scouts. I guess it just goes to show that everyone is different.
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