I'm having a "not good enough" day. Hormones and a head cold might be partially to blame. It's a lot of little things (which we can go into later if you like, haha) and one big thing. Tonight my Brownie troop is going on their first outing. And I'm going to be found out for the big faker that I am.
See I'm pretty good about bluffing my way through things. My clean house? I vacuum, wipe down the toilets, and clear off the kitchen counters before someone visits. Everyone is impressed enough by swept carpets, clean bathrooms, and a tidy kitchen to look any further. A good fake clean.
A writer and crafter? I guess when I do good stuff, it's good. But then I don't do anything else. I think my little streak of perfectionism hurts me here. For example the scarf that I was 3 rows away from completing that I tore apart because I had screwed up a dozen stitches in the beginning (I never could have lived with the mistake). It's almost finished again and no mistakes and I will happily show it off in a few days. But I could have made at least another scarf in the amount of time wasted on making this one perfect. And you'll notice not one single word of this year's NaNo has seen the light of day on my blog? It's crap. Complete crap and it pains me to continue.
Parenting? Ha! Zach is an easy child, he could raise himself in a pack of wolves and still be the president of a successful company. Emily and Ally have their moments and I know I need to work more with them. Kyle... Is well, Kyle. He's like the girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead. When he's good, he's the sweetest little boy you've ever know. When he's bad... I want to ship him off with the gypsies. Kelly's more like Zach, she's a doll although she's full of herself enough to let you know she's a doll.
So tonight. We're going on our first Brownie outing. And I'm so woefully unprepared. Another mom was suppose to oversee the field trips but she somehow got herself excused from this. Because you know, she has two children, no job, and a husband who travels (okay I might give her the last one). And you'll remember that we moved here a few months ago and I'm working with the barest of knowledge of the area. So we're going to "Downtown Place" tonight as requested by the Brownie girls themselves.
Problem #1, I just realized I gave us half an hour from leaving our house (some girls are riding with us) to meeting the other parents at "Downtown Place". I've driven to the area in 20 minutes on a Tuesday morning at like 10am. We're going at 6pm on a Friday.
Problem #2, our van. Which is tall. Taller than every single parking garage in "Downtown." So we have to either park on the street or in a pay lot. ("Downtown Place" doesn't have its own lot.) The streets are going to be messy at rush hour (I can parallel park the van as long as Greg isn't riding with us, long story) and I'm praying the only lot I know of isn't completely full when we arrive.
Problem #3, I've never been in "Downtown Place." I have no idea if we will have to wait for tickets (we're doing a special ticket price so I couldn't get them in advance). I have no idea the layout out of "Downtown Place." I have no idea if there are going to be crowds on a Friday night. In short I have no idea.
So it's going to go one of two ways. I will either luck out as I usually do with my bluffs and everything will go smoothly regardless of my "I have no idea" problems. Or it'll be a complete disaster and we will be an hour late, won't be able to find parking, wait forever for tickets, the place will be so crowded that I'll hyperventilate about losing a girl the entire time, and everyone will be miserable. And I'll be the one to blame.
It's not a good day to be in my head... Can it please be tomorrow already?
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