My kids were playing a game with me this morning. There's no other way to explain the craziness they put me through. I think I've figured out the rules:
Breakfast, Time to Drive Mom Crazy!
Refuse to get out of bed until 10 minutes after Mom wakes you up: go ahead 2 **Bonus** Complain it's too early (8am) when you woke Mom up on Saturday at 6:30am: go ahead 5
Sit on the stairs looking exhausted and blocking your sibling's trip downstairs: go ahead 3 **Bonus** Ignore Mom when she asks you three times to move so everyone can walk past: go to Twitchy Eye Mountain
Fight over cereal boxes: lose one turn (how unimaginative!) **Bonus** Steal sibling's box and knock over another box and spill a cereal bowl: go ahead 5 and everyone else loses their turn
Chew with your mouth open: go ahead 1 **Bonus** Chew with your mouth open after everyone at the table has yelled at you to stop a dozen times: go to Rubbing Forehead Temple
Sit as close to your siblings at the table as possible to make them yell at you even though it's an 8 person table with only 6 chairs: go ahead 2 **Bonus** Sibling kicks your chair causing cereal spillage: go to Milk Lake
Complain about the school lunch menu: go ahead 1 **Bonus** Complain about the lunch Mom will make for you: go ahead 4
Leave jacket at school when it's 40 degrees outside: go ahead 1 **Bonus** Leave spare jacket at school as well: go to Mom's Getting a Phone Call Because She Can't Dress her Children Properly Avenue
Forget to brush your teeth: go ahead 1 **Bonus** Forget to brush your teeth, your hair, wash your face, and use the toilet causing multiple trips back inside to let all the heat out and the cold in: go to Mom's Gritting her Teeth Cave
Swing your backpack around and hit sibling: go ahead 1 **Bonus** Draw blood: go ahead 5
Fight at the bus stop: lose 1 turn **Bonus** Fight at the bus stop loud enough that neighbors step outside to see what's going on: go to Mom's Embarrassment Land
The winning square? Mom lays down in the middle of the kitchen floor mumbling incoherently and refuses to move until tea is made.
Here, I even drew up a game board (click to enlarge):
I just hope there won't be any more versions today... (Dinner, Bedtime, Homework)
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