Emily, Emily, Emily...
So Em has always been a bit behind in school. I kinda blame myself and the fact that the twins weren't in a great pre-school program (it was more play group than ABC's and 123's). In kindergarten she struggled and ended up going all day for extra help. By the end of kindergarten, she was almost at grade level in reading and math.
And then we moved. Into a school district where Zach is just barely considered above 2nd grade level (in 1st grade last year, our Ohio school bumped him into 3rd grade subjects). So Em was barely on grade level by Ohio standards, she was way behind in this new school.
Emily is a perfectionist. It's the easiest to see in her artwork, she'll erase the same line a dozen times before it's "right" (or throw away a ream of paper with half a person drawn on each sheet). But it's impossible to be perfect when learning something new. So she won't try. She has a lot of tactics for getting out of work: whining, crying, pouting, making unreasonable demands (example: she made a mistake on a paper, she didn't erase it well enough, the teacher doesn't have a new paper to give her, therefore she can't finish the assignment because she can't work on an imperfect sheet of paper). I warned her teacher at the beginning of the school year: "don't give in, ignore it, she can do the work." And of course the teacher gave in and Em used this to her full advantage and became more stubborn. The teacher was like "I know she can do it, she did a very hard paper effortlessly yesterday but now she won't add 2 and 2."
That is the most frustrating part. Emily can do the work. She just won't sometimes. She'll throw an hour long fit over reading a paragraph that would take 2 minutes. I wish I was making that up but at least once a week, I'd have to let her stew at the kitchen table because she wouldn't try to read past the word "there". And then she'd get over herself and read the whole paragraph in 2 minutes. Or you'd read the directions: "underline the even numbers and circle the odd numbers." And she'd whine: "I don't understand." *grits teeth* "What's there not to understand?!?!?"
Maybe I should have pushed harder for learning disability testing. But she actually does really well on tests, she'll ace the same math information test that she "didn't understand" the night before as homework. On reading tests, it's more hit or miss, it really depends on the day and her mood. I've heard her read crazy long words on a cereal box and then choke over "The bunny is cute."
So they had her in a special reading group at school. She was seeing a tutor after school once a week. I really would like to help her more myself but I can't. (Ha, now I'm the negative one!) I learn like Zach does, osmosis or whatever. School was never a struggle for me, the only problems I had were the other kids who didn't want to do their own work and would badger me to do theirs for them because I was "one of the smart ones." Which is exactly what it feels like Emily is doing to me somedays: "What's this word?" "THE! You know that one!" I hate to admit it but I don't have the patience to help her. It's kills me when she tries to sound out "two." I just can't do it.
And then there's another train of thought... She's only 7 years old. Being in an excellent "Blue Ribbon" school district means they are going to push all the students extra hard to keep their highly rated status. I've seen the work Zach's done in 2nd grade here and there's no way that Emily could even begin to touch some of the stuff he did. The school here does expect a lot more than back in Ohio. Sometimes I feel they are pushing Emily a lot harder than necessary and again being as stubborn as she is, she is refusing to try. I just want to say "leave her be, she'll get it when she gets it." If it weren't for the fact that Ally is doing alright and will move into 2nd grade okay, I'd seriously consider letting Emily repeat 1st grade. I think that would completely crush her though. And the threat of not going onto 2nd grade with Ally didn't motivate Emily because she is very short sighted and doesn't fully understand what that would mean.
Today we're going to one of those fancy smancy learning centers. They say they can build confidence and skills and lalala, hand over the big bucks. Does anyone have any experience with these? It makes me nervous, if the school isn't getting through to her, how will they? Do I get a money back guarantee? (The $$$ price tag per month honestly freaks me out.) Any thoughts? I really want to help her, I just don't know what to do.
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