katiefleck's Unofficial Guide to Surviving 3 or more children under the age of 6
Volume 9: Pets
(Volumes 1-8)
A sane non-parent type person would say, "you have 3 (or more) kids running around the house acting like cute miniature terrorists and you want to add in another messy demanding creature who won't support you in your old age?" Well yeah! Of course you've already proven your lack of sanity so what's one more to feed and clean up after?
The way I see it, pets are split into 2 main groups: not caged and caged. Dogs and cats are the "not caged" group; rabbits, hamsters, birds, lizards, fish, lady bugs, etc are considered "caged" pets. Technically there's also livestock but since I don't live on a farm I'll leave that topic to someone else. Although I don't suppose the Amish are into blogging.
Note: I'm writing this from the perspective of getting a new pet. For those with pets already, skip down to the Death or "Kitty went to College" part for future reference. I'm also glossing over most of the issues of basic care and costs and instead focusing on how the pet would work in a house with 3 or more kids under age 6.
First before I go any further, no matter what your oldest promises "cross my heart and hope to die with sugar and a cherry on top", you will end up taking some or all of the responsibility for the pet's care. The good intentions may wear off in a week or eight years but at some point you'll be scooping kitty litter or changing Goldie's fish bowl water. In the very least you'll be purchasing the pet care items. How many 6 year olds can drive themselves to the pet store to buy Fido's dog food? Now then...
The "Not Caged":
Cats and dogs are definitely fun pets to have. They have their own personalities, decent life expectancies, and easily become "one of the family." (Has anyone ever said that about a guppy?) So right off the bat, they have a check plus in their column.
However they do have their downsides. Like claws, teeth, poop, pee, and fur. They also need training (litter box, obedience, etc) and regular vet check-ups with shots. I've never decided which is less fun, pediatrician or veterinarian visits.
Which brings me to the biggest consideration when deciding on a cat or dog as a new pet. In the beginning it can be a lot like having another child that you didn't give birth to. Abet a "child" you can legally leave home alone and won't ask for help with its homework. Still the attention and care for a new cat or dog can easily rival that of a toddler. I remember cleaning up messes from my potty training child and that of our puppy at the same time. Not much fun but just like potty training children, with encouragement and proper training your pet will figure it out eventually.
If you feel like you are barely keeping it together right now, please don't get a high maintenance pet like a cat or dog. Too many animals are in shelters right now because their original families couldn't handle the extra responsibility. Off my soapbox and onto...
"Caged" (aka small mammals, birds, fish, amphibians, reptiles, insects):
The nice thing about cages animals is that for the most part they stay in one place. I say for the most part because I don't want to count how many times I've had a gerbil loose in the house. Whoever said gerbils don't like to escape obviously never spoke to our gerbils.
However caged pets lose some of the fun factor of dogs and cats because they usually don't play fetch or climb Christmas trees. They can often seem like "living art" and that they are just there to look at (good example: fish). Which in my book isn't always a terrible thing.
If I had to decide between the two pet categories, I'd have to go with caged pets for the "3 children, 6 and under" group. Less overall work, contained mess, lots of variety to chose from, and if you go with the "living art" route, safer for the children and pet. The downsides are they can easily be "out of sight, out of mind" and generally have a short lifespan. So our next topic is...
Death
Death is a part of life. At some point our children will all be exposed to it. And it'll be hard no matter what. Even if it's a $1.75 goldfish. Have a funeral, remember the good times, and let your kids talk about it as much as they want. You should stress the good aspects of having a pet, the learning and enjoyment while trying to get away from the bloody gerbil massacre, floating fishies or road kill kitty part. And then move on. Maybe with the same type of pet, maybe with a new species, or take a break from the food buying/poop cleaning cycle for awhile. Life will go on even though your pet's didn't.
"Kitty went to College"
No, I'm not hiding a dead cat from the kids. If a pet dies out of the children's sight, you really should be honest about the death in the first place. Otherwise they'll be looking for their pet forever. "Kitty went to College" is just that. We sent our cat to live with my sister who at the time was still in college (although in her own apartment).
I know I said above not to take on a new pet if you don't think you'll be able to handle the added responsibility. However sometimes your "pre-children" pet doesn't react well with your children. (Sometimes I don't react well with my children.) This was the case of our cat. She joined our household when Zach was a baby. She was okay with the twin's arrival. A little iffy when Kyle came along. But by the time Kelly was born, she had had enough. Poor Kitty was a mess of stress and anger and generally not enjoying life at our household anymore. She showed this by hiding, snarling at the children, staying outside (she was an indoor cat), and peeing on everything (the last straw that broke Greg's back). It wasn't healthy for her or us.
It's always sad to let a pet go due to the above scenario or old age and illness. Again be honest with your children about the situation. Do your best to find your pet a good home and use the animal shelter as the last resort. Bonus if you can keep "visiting rights." Kitty is always so thrilled to see us when we visit my sister. (Not really.)
In the end, it's all about doing what's best for your family. Maybe having a zoo full of animals works for you or maybe having a single "pet" lightening bug puts you right on the edge. The best part about having a pet is that your children can finally fill in that line "My Pet's Name is..." on their "About Me" papers. Kidding! The best part really is teaching responsibility and empathy for all living creatures. Although it is nice not to have that blank line anymore...
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