10 years ago, I was 19, pregnant, not married, working at a flower shop, attending college as a biology marriage, and living in a trailer (it was a brand new double wide modular type place but still a trailer).
This all seriously could have gone really wrong, huh?
Now I'm 29, have 5 children, married, own my own business (hehe), still don't have that college degree, and living in a nice 4 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath with a finished basement.
I'm not saying it's all been uphill. I've made some stupid mistakes (sorry, Greg), he's made some stupid mistakes (love you!), and generally 5 kids in 5 years isn't something I'd suggest to anyone. (How about 2 kids in 10 years? Or none ever?) Being a stay at home mom is also the hardest thing I've ever done. Harder than in college when I had 2 jobs, was training in Army ROTC, and had a full course load with over 9 hours of lab time. (Back then I thought 4 hours of chem lab on Friday afternoons were going to be the death of me.)
I suppose it's good to reflect sometimes. Most people wouldn't look at me today and see the pregnant girl at 19. Should I have worried more back then? Maybe. But I didn't know any better. I had faith that it would all work out.
Staring into the next decade, I am a little worried. In a few years, the kids will be teenagers. (By the way when I turn 40, I will have 3 high school graduates, a 10th grader, and a 9th grader. *hopefully*) I don't have that blind faith like I did when I was 19. Things can go wrong, really wrong. There's a big difference between caring for a newborn while juggling a job and college courses compared to dealing with the big scary world out there for pre-teens and teenagers. There's peer pressure, drugs, sex, driving, alcohol, to name a few. Give me the whole nursing vs bottle, cloth vs disposable debates again. I think I'd rather change 3 diapers again daily than experience that first moment when Zach drives off by himself.
I know, that's 6 years away. But the last 10 years just flew right past. It'll be like tomorrow when Kelly's off to college. And I know the the kids are good kids and I generally think Greg and I are decent parents. I still have enough faith that it'll all work out.
But sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.
All Content at katiefleck.com is Copyright 2003-2008 by Katie Fleck, All Rights Reserved.
