Do you know a mom who goes on field trips and plans Girl Scout meetings and seems to have it all together?
Well if she's anything like me, she's a freaking mess beforehand.
I have this bizarre fear/worry/nervousness before an event or outing or whatever whenever I'm in charge or out of my element (my element = my house, my 5 kids and Greg). Yesterday it was Kelly's field trip to a local pumpkin patch. Due mostly to always having little ones at home, I've never been able to volunteer to go on field trips. So yesterday was my first. And you would not believe the nightmares I had that night before: I arrived at school too late and missed the bus, I forgot the lunches, I lost the kids, I didn't know how to get back to the school from the pumpkin patch, etc.
And of course the field trip went perfectly, I arrived several minutes early and Kelly loved the lunch I brought for us. Why do I feel so awful before?
Today it was a Girl Scout meeting. I traded being the twin's Brownie leader for being Kelly's Daisy leader. The plan was to meet at a local park and pick up trash. Seriously nothing more difficult than that. All I have to do was show up with trash bags (another mom brought surgical gloves, ha). Yet this morning I was in a panic, I didn't want to do it, I wanted to cancel, I can't go through with this.
Again the meeting went perfectly, I even rounded up some examples out of my van on the spot to show the three R's, Recycle (Mountain Dew can), Reuse (a cardboard box holding Kelly's nature "treasures"), and Reduce (cloth grocery bags). The girls loved picking up trash, beforehand I was worried they would refuse. Instead they had so much fun with it. (Lesson learned: forget taking your kids to the zoo or amusement parks, let them pick up trash.) Another mom told me she was so impressed with how calm and well put together I always am at the meetings. Good thing she didn't see me 3 hours ago.
Why do I feel so awful before something like this? I'm fine once the meeting/event is under way and seriously I doubt you'd ever know I was an emotional wreck beforehand. Something about the anticipation doesn't sit well with me. To add fuel to the fire, these reactions worry me, what if I get worse and actually start canceling things or not volunteering in the first place?
There's a quote something like "1 out of every 4 people is crazy. If 3 of your friends are normal then it's you." I'm beginning to think I'm the crazy one...
(Seriously, am I the crazy one?)
All Content at katiefleck.com is Copyright 2003-2008 by Katie Fleck, All Rights Reserved.
